|
Inside the Book: Sample Articles: |
 |
Where
to Buy this Book: Other places to Shop: Or, order a copy from your favorite neighborhood bookstore. |
|
Take a look inside, I'm sure you will like it. Click here for a quick look inside the book A
collection of light-hearted, witty, yet informative, articles about seniors and
retirement living. They are written for the SENIOR WIRE NEW SERVICE, the nation's
leading syndication of news, information and features for mature market publications.
Over 50 papers nationwide, as well as Canada and India, currently pick up the
WIRE's articles. |
|
PRE-RAMBLE..............................................................................................................XI FIRST: YOUR MIND AND BODY..........................................................................
13 SECOND: YOUR LIFE MADE BETTER................................................................
45 THIRD: YOUR TIME WELL SPENT.......................................................................
71
FOURTH: SPECIAL TIMES AND EVENTS..........................................................
101 FIFTH: A BETTER LIFE FOR YOU.......................................................................
121 |
SIXTH: FUN DAY TRIPS ..........................................................................................
159 SEVEN: IMPORTANT PEOPLE IN YOUR
LIFE ................................................... 171 TRAVELING SENIORS..............................................................................................
183 AND THOSE DREAMS... FANTASIES...
LOOSE FACTS... FICTION... JOKES... POETRY ......................................................................................................................
206
|
| Your
Gastronomic Chemistry Set Analyzing the components of what to eat using your gastronomic chemistry set is essential for concocting a wall of defense against the assault on your health or a longer lifespan. Being a senior citizen, and wanting to graduate to being a wise old person, is a constant challenge that makes it is necessary to carefully pick and choose your poisons. It is full-time battle against all odds and involves not only the woeful time spent at the table, but also, the pre-research and calculation processes you must perform to decide what and when to eat. If it good or bad for you, what it will cure, what it will prevent, and what body part will fall off or what will be added by its consumption. You can prepare oatmeal for breakfast. It is a heart-healthy fiber that supports your body’s fight against BAD cholesterol, and not because the glob in the bowl is a mouth-watering delicacy. You use non-fat milk because it is what it says it is, and instead of sugar, use just a taste of honey, since it is rich in antioxidants that prevent cancer and adds a golden color to the glob. You probably remember when you ate honey just because it tasted good. You can add a few blueberries or raisins to the glob, if you have any; they also help fight the BAD cholesterol. “I know, I know” you may say, “but some of the affluent boomers can eat hand- rolled Cheerios and freshly squeezed banana juice, but this glob is what I am stuck with.” Salmon also helps the heart, but you certainly don’t picture yourself spreading it on top of oatmeal early in the day unless you include a squeeze of lemon. You can sprinkle a quarter teaspoon of cinnamon on the glob, which adds extra decorative color and improves the glucose metabolism, and prevents your body being taken prisoner by Diabetes 2. You do all these things because you were told to do so by your supporting army of published nutritionists, and you add a glass of orange juice since it contains everything good, including the sun, as does any fresh fruit. It also lowers blood pressure. You eat all your breakfast and feel invincible. After the morning ritual of preparing breakfast, you realize the real-life normal function of food consumption has become a fundamental part of the entire day. Not surprising, since it happens at least 3 times, and takes up so much of your time and cash; eating has become a full-time struggle to protect the body against the invasion of bad things. Now none of us is an expert on nutrition (as opposed to well-practiced eaters), and certainly not a member of the accumulation of experienced researchers and nutritionists who rally around to protect the body, if you were you’d have to write a book to qualify, but you do bring that lifetime of eating experience to the table.
After oozing down your breakfast, you feel like a satisfied kid. You feel like
a successful chemist. You also feel confused because lunch is just a few hours
away. Lately the paranoid feeling that everything you consume is a life-threatening
plot against your longevity. But, and There are so many convoluting, contradicting, and proven studies and marketing statements that it’s hard to boil them down to fit into an ideal, yet non-intrusive, nutritional lifestyle. Let’s
take one good example, ‘Cool … Clear … Water’. You have always
been told to drink eight 8-ounce glasses (64 ounces) of water per day. Recently
that has been revealed as a myth (probably started by well diggers), because you
only lose about 1 liter (33.8 ounces) of water In addition, they say, bottled water does not contain enough fluoride to prevent cavities in children (not your problem anymore), and some tap water contains health-harming bacteria or parasites. What a dilemma, bottle or tap? Bottle or Tap? A filtration system under the kitchen sink that performs reverse osmosis (RO) is a great answer while at home, but a better answer would be a RO built into your body so you can drink from a public fountain or out of the river. There is a $1,000,000 idea for some genius human-body technician. The
scariest part of the day: What’s for lunch? Here your gastronomic chemistry
set is used to analyze the rations you are about to eat, and choose what you will
not eat. Hot dogs and the usual processed meats you consume between bread on sandwiches,
besides being fattening, contain preservatives, additives, and other chemicals
used for processing. They include toxic nitrates and nitrites, or chemicals formed
during processing, and can pull the trigger of the Soup is good, home cooked is better, and some in cans are OK, but there are so many flavors and recipes that thorough research is involved to avoid fats and retain nutrients. Eating fast food is a notoriously and highly publicized bad-bad no-no exposed for a multitude of chemical desperados. A salad bar never fails the fast food test unless it is loaded with pepperoni and sausage from the pizza bar, or covered with chocolate syrup from the desert bar. Dinner can offer one gleaming hope in this siege against your body surrounded by an army of destructive elements. That is, if you avoid red meat and pork, which poke red flags along the colon; pizza, which has more artery hardening fat than a cheeseburger; and potatoes, which are good, but with butter or gravy are fattening. Pasta carries a guarantee to make love-handle bulges on your sides. Chicken and turkey sans fatty skin (and not on pizza) are OK if not deep-fried in bad oil or smothered in a fattening cream sauce. Fresh vegetables steamed or slightly boiled are good chemicals but taste like vegetables that are steamed or boiled, again, no butter. Fresh vegetable salads are the best if tainted with vinegar and olive oil. Dessert is just fine as long as it is non-fat, non-sugar, non-white flour, and served with the perfect taste and texture of cardboard or Plaster of Paris. Dark chocolate contains those helpful antioxidants. What can be said about Jell-O? Your gastronomic chemistry set, as you see, is merely a lifetime of knowledge collected over the years in your fight for life. After a while, it becomes a habit, and it should be, sort of like breathing … and that is not a bad idea either. |
|
Stolen Identity We all have said it at one time or another, ‘I used to be somebody’. It frequently comes to pass after you’ve been finger walking through your high school year book; admiring your picture pushing a pair of black horn-rimmed or butterfly glasses through a camera lens. You look into a mirror and scream, ‘somebody has pilfered my fine hair and replaced it with wrinkles and god-awful crow’s feet creases on my face.’ About that time you’d gladly swap your SSN, credit cards, bank account and your SUV just to get your body back. You may be, about that time, going through an identity crisis. Not the kind when you believe you are Gloria Swanson or Catfish Hunter, but when you think you are still in your teens or twenties. In fact, you know you are 18 because you can remember your hall-locker combination, you just can’t remember if the school is still there. It’s not an amusing matter, but let’s face it, some people should have their identity stolen to maintain worldly social peace, and you know who you are: You, the guy who comes to the party dressed in shorts and a shirt the same color as a penny jawbreaker candy machine, who drinks all the beer and makes moves on all the wives; the gal who wears a sweat suit that looks like its been laundered in plum sauce and Double Mint Gum, who purrs around all the available men. Yet, when you get right down to it, identity merely is, after all, only a bunch of words used in the world of social sciences for an individual's comprehension of him- or her-self as a discrete, separate entity … you. And in the world of finance it is all the personal info that can be used to drain your life of cash. The question comes down to: which is more important; social fair play or financial stability? Protecting the latter is has a direct effect on comfortably continuing the former. Your ID must be protected from being stolen, and there have been a number of suggestions for protection thrown out by major organizations from AARP, to credit card companies, possibly the NFL, and maybe MAD Magazine. Of course, there are outrageous proposals for protecting your identity, or at least not misplacing it; one is to tattoo your SSN on some part of your body. If one day you notice the number has changed, then somebody has swapped bodies with you and is out spending your money in Aruba. An easier method is to tape a photo of yourself next to the bathroom mirror, if one morning the photo doesn’t match the reflection, either someone has snatched your wonderful body, or you haven’t been hitting the exercise/diet program as much as necessary. But getting back to earth, ID protections, especially your SSN, are keys you must turn in your brain once in a while. Your SSN is the key that unlocks all the credit information any body swapper would need. While shopping, don’t carry your SS Card or anything with that number in your purse or wallet. Avoid scammers on the phone and Internet and don’t give information to anyone if they contact you. Shred all your personal financial trash, especially those free offers for credit cards and those blank checks credit companies mail to pay your bills; a dumpster diver can take them from the trash and cash them. Check your bills to assure the charges are only yours. And periodically check your credit report by calling 1-877-322-8228, or try online at:
https://www.annualcreditreport.com/cra/index.jsp Preventing your identity from being stolen today won’t get you your hair back or make you younger, but will avoid you being taken to the cleaners tomorrow. |
| The Author, Patrick M. Kennedy (Sir Pat) Pat Kennedy has been a professional writer, editor, and graphic artist for over 30 years. In the past he has freelanced out of Seattle, Boise, Indianapolis, and Las Vegas. He has published a novel, Toy Shadows, and has had articles published in various magazines and books. He is especially proud that he still writes a regular humorous and lighthearted column, Inside Out & Round About’ that is available and distributed through the Senior Wire News Service, and contributes a regular senior’s column to the Upriver Community News. These articles are the foundation of this book. Over time, he has worked as a paperboy, professional musician, elevator operator, shipping clerk, soldier, teletype operator, bartender, bar owner, janitor, advertising agency owner, editor for several small literary publications, publisher, copywriter, art gallery owner, custom picture framer, salesman, and for the last few years as a technical writer for Fortune 500 companies. This gives him a wide-ranging list of experience to call on for his writing and editing." Visit the Author's Web Site at:
|
