Fun with Retirement

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Fun and Retirement are supposed to mean the same thing

Now for some Fun

 

Turn up the volume, and Click Below:

Take Me Back To The Sixties


Some senior jokes, gags, cartoons and old videos

Some other articles of interest


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What isn't now once were


By Patrick M. Kennedy


The Dodgers once were in Brooklyn. The Giants once were in New York. They moved and followed the covered wagons west. Newspapers were a dime and sold on the corner, and there were penny candy stores just around that corner. There were Five-n-Dime stores instead of Dollar Stores. 'Times, they are a-changin' Bob Dylan wrote and sang years ago, and he didn't know what was coming next or even tap into the progress time-stamps on living day to day.


At one time we did all this typing on a Smith-Corona typewriter, and made corrections with an eraser, messy white out, and extra copies were made with carbon paper. More than one copy was a real mess, especially if you had to correct a typo. Changing the ink ribbon was a real challenge, and there was only one font, until IBM invented the electric typewriter with an interchangeable font ball. Now that was real progress, we thought. Fold and place a letter or bill in an envelope, place a stamp on it, and drop it in the mail box. Boy that seems like a lot of work, but really just routine in the good old days.
Of course there were those loyal gas station attendants who pumped your gas, cleaned your windows, and maybe checked your oil. Maybe you were one of those guys earning money after school. And then there was free air for the tires on that car. When did air become a commodity?


The radio was always turned on and it entertained the kids and moms while they puttered around the house. The Lone Ranger was one of the popular programs that drew the kids around the radio like moths around a light bulb. 'Hi-yo, Silver! Away!' echoed off the walls … 'Who was that masked man anyway?' was the question asked, and then answered when TV burst onto the scene, was black and white and on only during the daytime. A different media, but whole families gathered around it, like moths to a light bulb … until The Lawrence Welk Show came on and it was only the adults in their easy chairs staring at the light in the corner.


The Iceman Cometh was not only a Broadway play, but a reality in most households. The icebox needed to be cold to preserve the food, and that was the function of the ice delivered. The Milkman Cometh as well; he left glass bottles of milk on the porch a few times a week. It is even rumored that some families had their bread delivered. Of course, for some it was a trip down to the corner to the Mom n Pop store to replenish these necessary supplies … and possibly a candy bar or two for the kids. And then when the refrigerator was invented it became the center for family gatherings and the invention of larger meals cooked, because they could be snacked on for days.


For many households the coal bin had to be filled before winter, and the coal repeatedly shoveled into the furnace to keep the house warm. Others kept the furnace oil drums filled, and in either case, they kept the dust cloths moving atop the furniture to keep it clear of the unwanted dirty dust they created.


Kids were in the yard; two-wheel one-speed bikes, taped up baseball with beat-up gloves; black tennis shoes for all; torn sweat shirts and jeans; nothing changes.
Those were the good old days we remember as we flip through our picture albums and note the times we had. Baseball is everywhere now, and even on color TV. It's not so bad now, even if your team is losing.

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Happy Talk

(Or: The Future Can Be Better)

Patrick M. Kennedy

Oh, it's so much fun being retired and having the freedom to wake up when you want and to be able to eat what you want, when you want. No more alarm clocks, no more commutes, no more office or plant stuff, or punching time-card stuff. The past is there and done, and as you age into the present you find that all the other ages are behind you, but not lost. Experience can make the future better.

You are talking about the future, bragging about the past, and listening to your friends doing the same things. You plan that trip, that project, or the hobby you wanted to do and can do now because you have the time to fritter away. You meet those new friends that you never had time for before, and you find they have the same ideas and plans and dreams as you.

Sitting there next to a flowing river or tidal salt sea-water shore, you say to yourself, "that tide or river flow can take me anywhere I want to go. They move through time so free; why can't that be me?"

Remember the lyrics to that old song? 'Happy talk, Talk about things you like to do.

You got to have a dream, If you don't have a dream, How you gonna have a dream come true?' Well, that's a good philosophy to follow in retirement. Have a dream and make it come true. It's all up to you. Optimism, hope, confidence should be the operative words for an in-high spirits retirement.

You worked and spent time for many years, maybe at one job, or maybe at several, and juggled tasks like a circus performer. They all got done and your chest swelled with pride. Now you have just one task; being as happy and content as you can find the time for and can afford. You remember all the fun and games you had in childhood, but then as the middle ages took over your life, the work controlled it all. Now, believe it or not, the fun and games can be back. You can be a child again, at heart if not in body motions, and play games and frivol away the time. Of course, some self control must be maintained. You can't go out and throw rocks at the garage door or the cat next door. Climbing trees is out of the question and a tricycle is too small. Riding a bike is permissible and a healthy thing to do.

The one word and mental condition that must be avoided is that evil spirit - boredom. 'Perhaps the world's second worst crime is boredom. The first is being a bore,' said Sir Cecil Beaton of British fame. So it's a two-way street. Keeping busy things on your agenda will eliminate boredom, but don't overdo it and bore others with your projects and plans. Happiness is the goal. 'Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence,' said Aristotle several hundred years ago. Wonder if he was retired when he said that. Happy talk is part of it, but happy activity is the key to being content in retirement.

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I Hate Work

By Patrick M. Kennedy

Sounds like a line Ralph Kramden, Jackie Gleason, would say in the Honeymooners: and follow with a belly roar Har Har Hardee Har. I know some of you are going to think that is a crazy statement. Work got us to where we are now: Retired, happy, a nice home, a little income coming in, and a universe of free time. Actually it comes down to that one thing, a little income coming in, and toss in a universe of free time: Time to do things and little enough income to do them. That's where 'I hate work' enters the retirement puzzle because a lot of happily retired citizens have to search the blue skies and back alleys for some kind of meager part-time employment (work) to have the fun we dreamed about. Just remember what Albert Camus said 'Without work, all life goes rotten. But when work is soulless, life stifles and dies.' If you decide you need to do this, be careful.

Men/Women Wanted. . Man or Woman Wanted For. . Circle and call. Circle and call. Not today, sorry! All filled up today, call again tomorrow or when you grow younger or own an American car. You can't demand. You have to request and beeeee pleasant and have a silk suit and tie on your tongue. A button-down brain cluttered with toothy smiles and polished pleases. Your applications probably are stashed in file drawers all over town between chopped olive sandwiches and Mary Missy Sanitary napkins. You are too experienced and that is a negative for most of the jobs available for your situation … retired.

A job in the 'Lost and Found' at the bus depot sounds inviting. Dusty odd items stacked and hung throughout the room: Cubbyholes and oaken drawers with numbers and dates above brassy handles; alphabetical hooks and shelves that circle the room. A collector of the small things people forget. Any retiree can do that and maybe even dig up some old memories. You could have treasures that people are hunting for; it's a position of power. No one but you can decipher the notes you take to find that lost ring or keychain. If you get sick and have to stay home they would have to close down the shop. What security! What power!

Sometimes you will spend the afternoons scanning for jobs in the HELP WANTED'S. It is something to pass the time, so you pull out your pad and paper from the Formica table top office and play your own game with your own rules.

WANTED: A delivery boy who owns his own store. WANTED: Dental Assistant. Must own a welding set. WANTED: Dependable, trustworthy young person for a reputable collection agency: Must own a car with bullet-proof glass.

Then you wonder if you really want to go back to work? Oh the pain of it all. Sometimes you aren't so sure. Your Social Security and retirement checks have been enough to pay the rent and buy the basic munchies with a clip full of coins left over to tip a few beers. 'Nothing is work unless you'd rather be doing something else,' said Coach George Halas. That pretty much sums it up. Most retirees would like to be doing exactly that … doing something else and avoiding the daily hum drum of taking on work again. Of course, taking on a work job has some positive sides to it but they are too few to list here.

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A collection of light-hearted, witty, yet informative, articles about seniors and retirement living. They are written for the SENIOR WIRE NEW SERVICE, the nation's leading syndication of news, information and features for mature market publications. Over 50 papers nationwide, as well as Canada and India, currently pick up the WIRE's articles.

In addition, there are tad bits of useful, if not useless, information to enhance the FUN in RETIREMENT: Dreams, Fantasies, Facts, Jokes, and Elucidations that have come from semi-scientific papers, true stories told by a liar, personal experiences as logged and blogged on the Internet and passed on as remedies and antidotes for the human condition … and just plain-old made-up stuff.

Where to Buy this Book:
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Other places to Shop:

amazon.com - borders.com

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booksamillion.com

Kindle Version

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Click here for a quick look inside the e-book


 

This book offers guidelines to help these individuals adapt to what is happening in their lives; even when their experiences aren't what they expected or would have liked them to be. When senior citizens enter this stage in life there are so many questions: Where is the money? Where do I live? How is my health?

Being a senior citizen isn't just about retiring and traveling, and it isn't just about the changes-good and bad-to which older people have to adapt. Being a senior citizen means being an elder, a responsible person in our society. The book explores and clarifies, in an easy to read manner, nearly 60 serious subjects about and for senior citizens; and the effort is made to include solutions and answers in each subject addressed.

Published by Red San Publishing

Where to Buy this Book:

Amazon.com

Barnes & Noble.com

Books a Million.com

Kindle

Or, order a copy from your favorite neighborhood bookstore.

A quick look inside the book, click here:


Several months after finding evidence that 80-year-old Duffy had been mugged and is missing, and per his will and the money he left for it, many of Duffy’s friends and enemies from Seattle ’s Market and around the country gather for a wake and/or a celebration at a Pacific Ocean beach. They are not certain if he is actually dead or just playing one of his cantankerous old-man tricks. Some hope he is dead, and others expect him to walk down the beach and have a beer, laughing at the big joke on all. Detective Murray is there to find the truth and he suspects everyone.

Published by Red San Publishing

Horse Races and Paint Stores? is available at:

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The Author, Patrick M. Kennedy (Sir Pat)

Pat Kennedy has been a professional writer, editor, and graphic artist for over 30 years. In the past he has freelanced out of Seattle, Boise, Indianapolis, and Las Vegas. He has published two novels, Toy Shadows, and Horse Races and Paint Stores, and has had articles published in various magazines and books. He is especially proud that he still writes a regular humorous and lighthearted column, Inside Out & Round About’ that is available and distributed through the Senior Wire News Service, and contributes a regular senior’s column, Coffee Break, to the Concret Herald News in Washington. These articles are the foundation of his books.

Over time, he has dabbled in the labors of paperboy, professional musician, elevator operator, soldier, bartender, janitor, advertising agency owner, editor for small literary publications, publisher, copywriter, custom picture-framer, salesman, and for years as a technical writer, which gives him a bonanza of experiences to call on while freelance writing and editing.

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Visit the Author's Web Site at:

A Better Word